


The Innumerable Flaws Of One Richard John Grayson

by AnonDude



Series: JayDick works [23]
Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jason Todd, Breeding, Come Eating, Crack Treated Seriously, Creampie, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, M/M, Making Out, Naked Cuddling, Not much plot but still, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Post-Coital Cuddling, Shameless Smut, Top Dick Grayson, depraved ranting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:33:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28369917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonDude/pseuds/AnonDude
Summary: Dick istooperfect, and Jay, for one, has hadenough. It isintolerable.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: JayDick works [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1875007
Comments: 9
Kudos: 81





	The Innumerable Flaws Of One Richard John Grayson

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a Tumblr thread that goes:
> 
>  **@heyfunnie:** why is bob short for robert  
>  **@chinchillaghosts:** how does one get 'billy' out of 'william'?  
>  **@wivernryder:** How in the hell do you get "Dick" from "Richard"?  
>  **@chinchillaghosts:** you ask him nicely

" _Tim_ ," Jason snapped, stalking across the Batcave, which was empty except for the two of them.

Tim whirled around in the computer chair. "Oh no, what did I do?"

"Nothing except be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Congratulations you've won a front row seat to my latest rant. I have a _problem_."

Tim let out an incredulous laugh. " _What?_ "

"Do you think I'm joking? I assure you I'm not, I wish I was — no I came here with the full intent, the _need_ , to scream my fucking frustrations at whatever unlucky motherfucker was here. Unless it was Dick, in which case I might have actually had to fucking fight him."

"Wait why are you gonna fight Dick?"

"Because I _hate him_ ," Jason yelled melodramatically.

"What did he do?"

"He's just the _worst_. Like, like, like," Jason stuttered. "Like his stupid pretty face!"

Tim blinked. "His pretty face," he repeated slowly.

" _Yes!_ It's _too_ pretty, did you ever think about _that?_ There's something wrong there. It's like a predator that uses its looks to lure in prey, and then _bam_ , eaten!"

"Maybe he'll unhinge his jaw like a snake and eat you if you're not careful," Tim said dryly.

Jason frowned. "Not funny, this is a _serious problem_ , Tim."

"I'm not seeing a problem so far, just your unhinged ranting and that you're apparently preoccupied with how pretty Dick is — which, I'm not gonna unpack that."

"It's an objective _fact_ , Tim. And it's, frankly, _ridiculous_ and I hate it. He has no right! Who gave him the right? And that's just the beginning of the problem, I haven't even gotten into it yet, when I said he was stupid I _meant it_."

"Oh? Do tell."

"We were fucking working a case together, and he has the _nerve_ to say 'I'm glad we can be friends now'. Like hello, I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss you, you fucking idiot!" 

Tim's eyes went comically wide as he continued to witness Jason's breakdown.

Jason was reduced to spastic hand flaps and undignified noises. "He's so _stupid_ , I hate him, why is he so perfect? And yes I will stab you if you repeat that but I just don't understand, make it make sense! Could he stop at least _looking_ like that all the goddamn time?! It's _intolerable_ , how is anybody supposed to get anything done? I keep accidentally looking at him and then my brain just goes absolutely fucking empty and I look like a fucking _idiot_ , which I'm not, it's just his stupid, _evil_ , pretty face. It's so stupid, _he's_ so stupid, everything about him is so stupid. Even his _name_ is stupid — how the fuck do you get 'Dick' from Richard?"

"You could ask him nicely," a suspiciously, _infuriatingly_ perfect voice came from behind Jason. "For you, I'm sure he'd be more than willing."

Jason's heart stopped beating for a second, and his face did something apparently _very_ entertaining, judging from Tim's expression. And then Jason's brain caught up with what Dick had said and he flushed a brilliant tomato red.

He slowly turned his head toward Dick. "Di-Did you just…"

Dick winked at him, grinning. "That was quite the rant."

"You, uh, weren't supposed to hear that."

"Oh, but I did." Dick took a deliberate step forward, and Jason instinctively twisted his body around to face him so he could take a step back. Dick took another step forward.

"Uh, I, uh, didn't mean it," Jason blurted out.

"You sure?" Dick backed him up against the desk, leaning forward over him as Jason leaned back and planting a hand on the desk on either side of his waist, caging him in. "Sounded pretty earnest when you were saying all that." He leaned in until he was barely an inch away from Jason's face. "Sure you don't want to find out if I'm as… _'insufferably perfect'_ at kissing as I am at everything else, apparently?"

Jason took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and leaned up, closing the distance between them. Their mouths pressed together just briefly, and then again, longer, and Jason's hand moved up to curl in Dick's hair from where it had been clenched around the edge of the desk, drawing him closer as his mouth opened against Dick's and Dick's opened in kind.

"What the fuck?" Came a voice from the stairs at the same time Tim started to say, "Are you guys serious? I'm still right fucking here."

Dick and Jason reluctantly pulled apart, both looking up the stairs at where Duke was standing.

"Can I help you with something?" Dick asked.

"What the _fuck?_ " Duke repeated.

"This is new," Tim said to Duke. "Like just now new. It was super dramatic. Little creepy. Very unexpected."

Jason rolled his eyes at Tim. "Shut up you little traitor. You didn't say _shit_ about him being behind me."

"Oh and you're _mad_ about that? Look where it got you." Tim gestured at the two of them. "You should be thanking me."

Jason pursed his lips. "Whatever." 

Dick grinned and gave him another peck on the lips.

"Hey, hey, don't start that shit again," Tim protested. "Wait until you're alone at least."

"That's an excellent idea," Dick said, straightening up and sliding his hands up over Jason's waist, pulling him up with him. "Alone. Jay _does_ have something he needs to ask me nicely."

"I do?" Jason asked, a bit dazed. And then, "Oh, right, _fuck yeah_."

"Ugh, _no_ ," Tim said emphatically. "Gross."

Dick laughed and took Jason's hand, turning and pulling him across the Batcave toward their motorcycles.

"Do I wanna know?" Duke asked.

"You don't." Tim said firmly.

"Follow me to my place?" Dick asked Jason, letting go of his hand and swinging a leg over his bike.

"Hell yeah."

When they got to Dick's place, Dick pulled him inside and pushed him up against the door, already kissing him again. Jason kissed back eagerly, his hand slipping into Dick's hair and pulling him closer.

His other hand slid up the back of Dick's shirt, fingers mapping over the old scars that littered his skin, and he felt Dick's hand push between their bodies, flicking open the button on his jeans and easing inside to rub against his hardening cock through his underwear.

"Wait, do you actually want me to fuck you this soon?" Dick asked, pulling back slightly, his hand stilling.

"Yeah, if _you_ do. I don't give a fuck about waiting."

Dick gave a relieved smile. "Me neither." He kissed him again. "Bedroom?"

"Mm." Jason caught his lips again and they went stumbling back toward the bedroom as they kissed.

Dick's upper back hit the bedroom door frame, and he let out a small, "Oof," into the kiss and guided them into the room, taking his hand out of Jason's pants to push them down his hips. 

Jason stumbled slightly and then managed to kick his shoes and then the jeans off, pulling back to pull off his shirt and help Dick out of his. Then he dropped down to his knees as Dick toed off his own shoes, pulling Dick's joggers down and helping him step out of them before smoothing a hand over his cock through his boxer briefs and reaching for the waistband. He pulled them down carefully over Dick's cock and leaned forward, his warm breath fanning over the sensitive skin as he asked, "Can I?"

"Yeah, fuck yeah," Dick said, burying a hand in Jason's hair.

Jason gripped his cock and stroked over it once before licking up the underside. Dick made a small moan in the back of his throat, and Jason repeated the motion, moving up over the sides as well and stroking his hand over his slick cock as he moved his attentions downward. 

He sucked over Dick's balls, and Dick's hand clenched in his hair with an, " _Ohh_." Jason worked his mouth over them and sucked for a few more moments before finally releasing them and trailing his tongue back up Dick's cock to close his mouth around it. He circled his tongue around the tip and sucked, sinking down on it further until it hit the back of his throat and then starting to bob his head.

" _Unh_ you're really good at that," Dick got out as Jason worked his tongue against the underside of his cock, and Jason gave a pleased hum around him that made Dick close his eyes and tip his head back, his other hand coming up to cup Jason's jaw, stroking his thumb over his hollowed cheek, feeling his cock moving through it. " _Yeah_."

Dick only let him continue for a few more minutes before he gently pulled Jason's head back with the hand in his hair. "Get on the bed, let me take care of you now."

Jason got to his feet. "Yes _sir_ ," he teased, turning away and getting on the bed.

Dick laughed. "Shut up."

Jason wriggled out of his underwear and threw them on the floor. "Well that's no way to treat a gentleman." He put his feet flat on the bed so his knees were up and bent as he watched Dick take a bottle of lube out of the drawer of his bedside table, and then a condom, holding it up toward Jason.

Jason shook his head. "I'm clean."

"Me too. Awesome." He dropped it back in the drawer and shut it and then crawled between Jason's legs. "I'll make sure to make it up to you for being rude."

Jason kissed him. "Mm lookin' forward to it."

Dick kissed him again and opened the lube, slicking up his fingers and setting it aside. He slid his tongue into Jason's mouth as he pressed his first two fingers into him, curling them and rubbing over Jason's prostate. 

Jason groaned into his mouth and slid his tongue along Dick's, his hips rolling. Dick started to slowly thrust his fingers, curling them and massaging his prostate every so often.

He fingered Jason open steadily until he had four fingers curled inside him.

" _Ohh_ fuck, yeah," Jason panted against his lips, rocking his hips desperately onto Dick's fingers.

"Yeah? You like that?" Dick made a repeated come-hither motion with his fingers, pressing against his prostate.

Jason gave a high moan, and then his hips jerked. " _Ah!_ Oh, stop, Dick, I'm gonna come."

Dick stilled his fingers, a smirk curling over his lips as he watched Jason catch his breath, his face and neck flushed.

"You're looking way too pleased with yourself," Jason managed to get out.

"Am I?" Dick said, pressing against his prostate again. "Weird."

Jason moaned. "Fuck me already."

"That I can do." Dick slid his fingers out of Jason and sat back, grabbing the lube to slick up his cock. He slid a hand under Jason's thigh, pressing it up toward his stomach, and guided his cock, pressing forward into him slowly.

"Mm." Jason wrapped his legs around Dick as he leaned back over him, pulling him forward harder and tilting his hips up.

Dick kissed him again and started to move his hips. 

Jason's breath caught and he buried his hands in Dick's hair. Fuck yeah. He kind of couldn't believe Dick Grayson was actually fucking him — was even giving him the time of day. He'd wanted this so badly for so long, the notion that he might actually _get it_ seemed so far-fetched. But here he was, and fuck, it was glorious.

Not that he'd ever really doubted, because it was _Dick_ , but damn he really knew what he was doing; this was no clumsy, fumbling thing, no, Dick was giving it to him good in deep, steady strokes that had Jason's toes curling.

He held on tight and kissed Dick with everything he had as Dick fucked him into the mattress.

"Oh god," he gasped, some time later as Dick nailed his prostate, and Jason ground up against him.

Dick's hips sped. "Fuck, _fuck, ohh_ I'm gonna come."

" _Ah_ , yeah," Jason panted, stroking over his own cock frantically. "Come for me."

It was only a few more strokes before Dick was crying out as he came inside Jason. "Ah, _ah_ ," he panted, mouth open against Jason's skin in the crook of his neck as his hips slowed.

"There you go, so good."

"Mmh." Dick shook his head slightly and then shifted. "Let me." He pushed Jason's hand away and took over jerking him off. 

"Oh, oh, oh," Jason gasped as he pushed up into Dick's hand, and then he was coming with a hiccuping sob.

Dick stroked him through it until Jason stilled his movement with a hand on his wrist and groaned. "Fuck. Kiss me." He pulled Dick's head down with the hand still tangled in his hair and kissed him fervently.

Dick's hand let go of his spent cock and skated over the outside of his hip, up his waist. "Your skin is so soft," he murmured against Jason's lips, mesmerised fingers stroking over a patch of skin between two scars.

He gave Jason another peck on the lips and then carefully pulled out, moving away down his body, skimming his lips down over his chest and starting to lick up the come on his stomach. 

Jason gave a little pleased sigh and clenched his hand lightly in Dick's hair. Dick gave him one last long, slow lick and then nuzzled over the curve of his waist, brushing his lips over the skin there. "So soft," he murmured again, kissing over it and running his hand up and down the other side. "You want to, like, actually try this, right? Not just sex?" He asked quietly as he continued to kiss over Jason's skin.

"Yeah, I'd be crazy to let you go."

Dick smiled against him. "Good." He kissed just over Jason's hip and sat back. "Let me clean you up."

He got up and came back with a damp washcloth, cleaning Jason up and wiping up the come that had leaked onto the blankets as best he could, and then tossing the washcloth into the hamper. 

Jason rolled over and pulled the covers out from under himself and got under them, and Dick climbed in beside him, both of them curling toward each other like quotation marks. Dick slipped his arm over Jason's waist, and Jason did the same, pulling him closer and tangling their legs together.

Dick gave him a quick kiss. "You wanna go get dinner after our nap?"

Jason smiled. "Yeah, baby. I'd like that."


End file.
